


The other side of the coin

by Simbanrat



Series: $3000 [2]
Category: EastEnders (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Boys In Love, Companion Piece, Falling In Love, Light Angst, M/M, Pretty Woman References, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-23
Updated: 2021-03-08
Packaged: 2021-03-13 21:48:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 10,190
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29657799
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Simbanrat/pseuds/Simbanrat
Summary: Ben was lost when he came across a hooker who charged him £50 for directions and changed his life.This is the Ben POV fic that nobody asked for but I wrote it anyway. It would be better to read $3000 first before you read this or else it might not make too much sense.
Relationships: Callum "Halfway" Highway/Ben Mitchell
Series: $3000 [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2178969
Comments: 26
Kudos: 67





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I am still writing this story atm so posting it and updates might not be as regular or fast as I did with the original story. I’m sorry if it’s all a bit boring since it’s basically just a retelling. I intended for it to maybe be a chapter to add to the other one, but clearly that hasn’t happened so I hope ya’ll stick with and enjoy it.

The first time Ben saw Callum he narrowed his eyes, confused as to why this guy having a go at him for being parked at the side of the road… he took a moment to look him over. His hair was ruffled, just on the right side of being a mess and his cheeks were rosy, probably the result of standing around in the chilly evening air. He was wearing a vest and leather trousers, the trousers hugging him in all the right places and Ben’s eye was drawn. He snapped them away though as the other man opened his mouth again and Ben realised he’d stumbled across a hooker.

This was not how he was expecting his night to go but when the tall good looking man sassily offered to give him directions in return for £50 he figured why not. He was a businessman and he could appreciate someone else being enterprising and trying to make some money. He didn’t have much choice, his phone lost its internet and the car he was in didn’t have a sat nav onboard. When he leaned over to open the door and the other man climbed in he smelt of aftershave and sex. A heady mixture which ignited something in him, a desire to do something he’d not felt in a long time.

On the drive back to the hotel he let his eyes wander over to his passenger a few times, his gaze dropping to his crotch when he was purposely trying to display the goods on sale as he gave a price list. He swallowed thickly and looked towards the road, he didn’t need a boner while he was driving and he needed to concentrate on what he was meant to be doing. He kept his eyes away from the other man as much as he could for the rest of the thankfully short journey.

When they got to the hotel he had every intention of handing over the £50 and sending him on his merry way, but as the guy walked away, swinging his hips and wriggling his arse at him he made a pretty good case for being hired. Ben had already been here for two nights and he’d barely slept, the bed cold and empty with just him. Since Paul, he’d had trouble sleeping, finding the quiet and darkness overwhelming alone. Maybe what he needed was a bit of company, just for a little bit of time, someone else to break up the loneliness he’d being feeling lately and the vast space in the room.

Before he knew it he’d stopped the hooker and taken him upstairs, the other man now trying to undo his trousers and get his hand inside. It would be so easy to let him, he was paying him for this after all but a little voice in the back of the his head told him to stop so he stopped his new acquaintance from going any further than his hand cupping him through his trousers…

Callum looked confused and a bit angry, obviously thinking that he was messing him about and he was about to storm off. Before he knew it, Ben was handing over a stupid amount of money, knowing he’d have got him to stay for a hell of a lot less cash if he’d haggled, but he was just glad to have the time restraints removed and a chance for someone else to be in the room for the night instead of being there alone.

When they settled down to watch a film he felt his eyes drifting over to the tall man sitting next to him, stealing glances here and there without being noticed as he traced his fingers over the bare flesh of the other man’s shoulder, the feeling of someone to sit next to was something he’d missed so much. The longer he looked at him the better looking he was becoming and Ben realised he was attracted to him.

Eventually Callum fell asleep, his head naturally dropping to the side and landing on Ben’s shoulder. The younger man smiled and closed his eyes for a moment, the warm body next to him feeling comforting and familiar, but he moved around and supported Callum’s head as he repositioned him so he was laying down and more comfortable, grabbing a throw from the end of the sofa and placing it over the sleeping man.

He crouched down in front of him and allowed his fingers to brush the beautiful face in front of him, noticing how young he looked without the barrier of consciousness in front of him. The bravado and sass melted away and he wondered what the other man was really like when he wasn’t playing a part. What on earth had brought him to this path as surely being a prostitute wasn’t high on anyone’s list of career choices. He continued to brush Callum’s face, finding himself leaning in to place a kiss on his forehead but stopping when the other man stirred slightly.

He pulled away and decided he needed to go to bed, a part of him wanted to crawl onto the sofa and to wrap himself around the sleeping man, to hold him through the night, but the last thing he wanted to do was to have him wake up and be confused or scared about a strange man with his arms around him. Instead he headed upstairs, leaving Callum to sleep in peace and deciding that simply having the other man in the same hotel room was enough of a comfort to know he wasn’t alone.

Climbing into the cold empty bed he got right up to the edge and curled onto his side, finding sleep came a lot easier than it had since he’d arrived a couple of nights before. He slept soundly until he felt a dip in the bed behind him a few hours later, a warm body radiating heat and for a moment he didn’t know where he was or who it was. For a split second Paul’s image appeared in his brain until he realised it wasn’t him. He turned into the heat and wrapped himself around it, the warmth encasing him and bringing him in.

He knew it was Callum before he opened his eyes, even in his half awake state he remembered the handsome man he’d met earlier that night. A strong arm wrapped around him and before he knew it he’d fallen back asleep, the brush of fingers in his hair the last thing he remembered as he dropped off and slept the best he had in a long time.

He dreamt of Paul that night, instead of the usual nightmares of his demise it was happier times when they laughed and joked together, the first time he’d been able to remember the good times since his death. Soon memories of Paul’s brown eyes gave way to blue and Ben started to dream of big hands in his hair. He woke up looking at the back of Callum’s head and he knew the other man was awake too. Ben’s morning wood was pressed up against the body in front of him and he longed to do something about it, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath he considered reaching around to see if Callum was ready and willing, instead he said good morning and pulled himself away from the situation.

He retreated to the bathroom and hopped in the shower, his dick hard and heavy hanging between his legs. He willed it to go down but in the end took it in his hand as he brought himself some release, the smell of Callum still in his nostrils and the feeling of him pressed against him tingling his skin. He hadn’t been near a man in so long apart from an ill judged attempt at a one night stand. He got drunk and thought that a warm body, any warm body would bring him some comfort. He was wrong, his skin crawled as the man started to kiss his neck and images of Paul flashed before him. He pushed the man away and went home, shouts of ‘cocktease’ ringing in his ears as he went.

He hadn’t tried it again and instead threw himself into the family business, travelling around the country and spending time in cold hotel rooms alone. As lonely as he was it was nothing compared to how he felt when he tried to let another man touch him before. Now though, spending the night in bed with Callum, it was the first time he’d shared a bed with someone else in so long. His skin didn’t crawl but instead felt a faint fire beginning to burn. He dreamed nice memories instead of nightmares and he felt something, something more than loneliness and sadness.

When he stepped out of the shower and wrapped a towel around himself, he walked out of the bathroom and back into the bedroom. Callum was laying in bed still, his arms stretched out either side of him and he was still nowhere near filling up the large bed. Ben could see the way Callum was looking at him, his eyes travelling up and down his body. He blushed inwardly, it had been so long since anyone had looked at him like that and he could see a glint in the other man’s eye.

He walked around the bed and started to leave the room, intending to go and order some room service. Callum’s voice stopped him though and when he turned around the other man had pulled the quilt back and was presented in front of him in just a pair of pants, his long lithe body an intense sight. The offer to join him in the bath was so tempting, his freshly deflated dick twitching in interest, but he reminded himself that that’s what Callum was being paid for, to be tempting and to fuck, it wasn’t something he actually wanted to do. He declined the offer and went downstairs instead.

He could hear Callum moving about upstairs and the water running in the bath, he’d wanted to join him, but it seemed too intimate, to lay naked with someone else in the tub, it was too much. He started to think this whole thing was a huge mistake. When he asked Callum to come upstairs with him he wasn’t sure what he wanted. A part of him really did just want company, but another part of him thought that something could happen.

The pressure and stress of a casual hookup had been removed from the equation, no judgement from a stranger if he were to freak out or change his mind again. Paying someone to fuck seemed like an easy choice, Callum would just bend over and take it if that’s what he wanted, he could just close his eyes and pretend it was someone else. But when it came to it, Ben just wasn’t like that, at least not anymore.

Sure he’d been somewhat promiscuous when he was younger, learning about himself and who he was and what he liked. When he met Paul though, to be with someone he loved and had feelings for, the meaningless sex just didn’t seem as appealing. He certainly didn’t see the appeal in paying someone for sex, yet here he was with a hooker having a bath in his room. The whole idea creeped him out and he wondered if Callum saw him as he saw the other men he slept with for money. Was he just a sad, lonely bastard like the rest of them…

He sighed and picked up the phone to ring down for room service, he didn’t know what Callum liked so he decided to just order a bit of everything and hope that something would appeal to him. When the other man joined him after the delivery they ate in a slightly uncomfortable silence, neither man really knowing what to say to each other. Ben barely ate, he chewed on a sausage and a bit of bacon but the other man seemed to have a good appetite.

When they finished eating, Ben was surprised when his guest undone the belt on his robe and opened it up. Ben’s eyes couldn’t help but fall down to his crotch, the dick large and pleasing where it lay on a thick and meaty thigh. Callum knew he was looking and he moved his legs apart, Ben swallowed and felt his heart start to race a little, the blood throughout his body beginning to pump faster. He longed to reach out and touch, he very nearly did but he caught himself and instead announced he was going to call for room service instead.

Callum huffed dramatically and stood up, saying he might as well get going then as he went back upstairs. Ben picked up the phone and called down for someone to come remove their plates and watched as the other man stomped up the stairs, quickly disappearing from sight. Ben closed his eyes and shook his head, sighing loudly at how he handled the situation. He didn’t really want Callum to leave, he’d slept better the previous night than he had in months. But he couldn’t make him stay, not if he didn’t want to be there.

It wasn’t long before the older man came back down, he was dressed in his leather trousers and vest again and Ben thought he looked just as good in the outfit as he did the previous night. He offered to call for a taxi for him but he was turned down. Callum turned to leave and Ben panicked, his voice breaking as he said “stay”. The other man turned around slowly to look at him, surprised by the offer. Ben didn’t blame him for the confusion, he’d not exactly given any indication that he wanted to use the man for the purpose he’d been employed after all.

He felt like he needed to explain, that really all he wanted was for some company. He could go out and find someone for the night, but it was too much effort and too complicated, memories of the last attempt at a one night stand were still too fresh. Besides all he wanted really was someone to cuddle up to at night, not someone to fuck and how do you go out to meet a random guy to do that with. No, this was easier and much more simple.

Callum didn’t seem to be interested though so Ben threw out a figure he thought would make the other man stay. He was right, Callum agreed and Ben didn’t know if he was relieved or feeling regret. He handed over a wad of cash, not willing to hand over the full amount straight off in case he never saw the other man again. He let him know of his plans over the week and told him he was free to come and go as he pleased when he was working, just that he wanted him to be there at night.

When they’d had a chat and laid out some ground rules Ben went upstairs to get ready for work. He sat on the side of the bed and worried that what he was doing was really fucking stupid. He sat with his head in his hands and wondered what his dad would think of him, he’d probably call him stupid or pathetic. His dad was supportive of him in business, but personally? He had never accepted his sexual orientation, nor even acknowledged the love and loss he had suffered, he definitely wouldn’t understand the need to have some human contact right now.

Ben reached for the small box on the bedside table. He took it with him wherever he went to keep Paul close to him. He opened it up and picked up Paul’s ring, slipping it on his finger so it sat next to the one he wore before he took out the folded photograph. Opening it up he smiled at his own smiling face, at how happy he looked with Paul by his side. He touched his fingers to his mouth, kissing the tips softly before he touched Paul’s face in the photo. He wondered what his lover would think about him now and what he was doing, but he knew he wouldn’t have judged him and would say to just take comfort wherever he could, his boyfriend was thoughtful and generous like that.

He smiled sadly to himself and folded the photo back up, placing it back in the box along with the ring, leaving them in their safe place. He got up and continued to get ready, slipping on his waistcoat and jacket, then headed to the office and picked up his briefcase before going back downstairs. Callum was loitering around in the kitchen area, looking a little unsure about what he was doing. As he was about to leave, Ben thanked him for staying, knowing it was an odd situation and wanting the other man to know he appreciated him giving up his week to be there. Callum just nodded at him, a smile on his face as he shut the door.

When he got down to the ground floor he went over on the reception desk to sort out a key to leave for Callum. His heart sunk when he saw it was Gloria working, she was the most stuck up cow that worked there and he always felt like she judged him when he stayed. He didn’t speak as well as her and he wasn’t posh like most of the people that were guests, he swore she thought she was better than him, but maybe she just thought she was better than everyone anyway and he shouldn’t take it personally.

He asked for a key to be left for Callum and said he would be along later to collect it. He flushed slightly under the woman’s gaze as he spoke but she got a key and followed his instructions, nodding politely as he thanked her and walked off. He had business he needed to attend to and when he got outside his car was waiting for him, the chauffeur jumping out to open the back door for him.

As he was driven through the city to his meeting he couldn’t help his mind drifting back to Callum and wondering if the man would even be there later when he got home. For all he knew he could take the money he had been given and run, he just had to hope that the guy was as honest and good natured as Ben sensed he was. He hoped that when he returned that night he wasn’t going to get back to a dark and empty room, really needing someone to break up the silence in his life, even if it were just for a few days.


	2. Chapter 2

Ben found being at work easier the usual, the good nights sleep and nice dreams meant he felt a lot brighter and more fresh than he’d felt in months. Although work was pretty boring, meeting after meeting, it thankfully ended a lot earlier than he was expecting it too, the meetings going well. He assumed he wouldn’t return to the hotel until dark, but as he climbed into the car to be driven back, the sun was still in the sky.

When he arrived back at the hotel he thanked the driver and told him he’d see him tomorrow as he got out and stood looking up towards the top floor of the building. He wondered if his guest was still up there or if he’d gone home as he suspected he might. He wouldn’t blame him, he had £3000 in his pocket and could easily do a runner, Ben had no idea where he lived or where he came from and what would he do, go to the police? Explain that a hooker he’d paid had run off with his money?

That wasn’t likely to happen so if Callum was gone then he was gone. To be fair to him, he wouldn’t want to spend the week with himself either, he was hardly the life and soul of the party lately. He sighed and put his head down as he walked towards the door, the doorman he was on first name terms with smiled and greeted him as he got closer. Ben looked up and smiled at him, “hey Frank, had a good day?” The older man said he had and hoped Ben had a good day too as he held the door open for him and he thanked him as he walked through. 

Ben walked over to the lift and pressed the button, only having to wait a few seconds before it pinged open and he could get inside. As it travelled up through the floors he began to feel nervous, he didn’t know if he was more nervous about Callum going home and being met with a quiet room, or him being there and what could possibly happen.

When the lift reached the top floor and opened he stepped out and walked along the corridor to his suite. He got the keycard out and hesitated slightly before he waved it over the pad, taking a deep breath he unlocked the door and pushed it open. The room was quiet when he stepped inside, no noise at all and he felt his stomach sink a little bit with the disappointment that Callum had gone. It was only when he stepped further into the room that he noticed the door was open onto the balcony and he saw the tall man stood looking out over the city.

Ben smiled and sighed in relief, more pleased than he thought he’d be that the other man had stayed, obviously the promise of more money was enough for him to put up with his miserable face for a few more days and he was glad for the company. He put his briefcase down on the side and headed out to join Callum on the balcony. He made it all the way to the rail and was standing mere inches away from him before he was even aware he was there.

When he turned to look at him Ben couldn’t help but notice how stunning he looked in the late sunlight, the orangey light illuminated his face and Ben felt his breath catch with the way Callum was looking at him. He swallowed and smiled, pleased when the other man smiled back. He looked good, dressed more ‘normally’ than the last time he’d seen him. It made him feel good that the other man had obviously gone home to get some things and still came back.

He noticed Callum looking at him too, he even complimented him which caused him to blush, not used to people saying he looked good, not recently anyway. He said he was going to go upstairs to get changed and was happy to let Callum decide what to do for dinner, leaving the other man to stand outside by himself while he went to get into something a bit more comfortable. On returning back downstairs he couldn’t help but notice the way Callum’s eyes followed him as he got closer, he got a warm feeling spreading through his body thinking that maybe, just maybe he was attracted to him too.

It was decided to get a Chinese takeaway, Ben was glad as it was his favourite takeout to get. The thought of a big plate of egg fried rice made his stomach growl and he couldn’t wait for it to arrive, his mouth drooling over the possibility of a prawn cracker. They decided to carry on where they left off last night, wanting to watch the next Marvel movie that came chronologically. He’d seen them all already but he was willing to watch them again since Callum seemed to be as into them as he was. He was only half watching the film though, his eye kept sliding over to the man sitting next to him who was so engrossed in the action that he didn’t even notice.

He was broken away from staring at his guest when the phone rang to tell him the food had arrived. He paused the film and told them to send the guy up, his stomach rumbling in anticipation. When he pulled open the door there was a huge bag of food and he handed over some money as he took a hold of the bag before he thanked the delivery guy and shut the door. He took the bag over to the counter and started to pull out he containers, reading what was on each one and smiling that everything that had been ordered would be exactly what he’d have chosen himself.

He took the plates over to the sofa and handed one to Callum before he settled down next to him and unpaused the film again. They ate pretty much everything that had been ordered except for prawn crackers which he was eyeing up to finish off the following the day and he was glad that Callum had ordered 2 portions of them so there was enough for leftovers.

When the film finished he said he had to go to bed, he had an early start and needed some sleep. There was an awkward moment where neither man seemed to know what to suggest about sleeping arrangements. Although Ben was paying him to be there, he still felt slightly embarrassed at admitting he wanted someone to cuddle up to in bed, a little worried that maybe Callum would think that all he wanted to do was fuck him.

The decision was thankfully made for him when Callum suggested that the bed was big enough for the pair of them. He released a breath he hadn’t realised he’d been holding, relief sweeping over his body that he’d not be spending the night alone. He smiled and Callum smiled back, ducking his head down before he looked back up. Ben felt his heart flutter and his inner self told him he was being ridiculous and to stop acting like a teenager.

They headed upstairs, making sure to turn everything off and when they made it the main bedroom Ben went into the bathroom while he left Callum standing by the bed looking a little unsure. He walked into the en-suite and shut the door behind him, leaning against it momentarily before he pushed off and went to stand in front of the mirror. He saw someone pathetic looking back at him. It was bad enough that he was having to pay someone to spend time with him but to not actually follow through with what he was paying him for was truly sad.

He shook his head and had a wash, no matter how sad he seemed he was just thankful to not be alone. He finished up and walked out, letting Callum know that the room was free to go and use and saying there were spare toothbrushes in case he’d left his in another room. While he had the room to himself he started to undress, not sure how to get into bed. He usually slept in just his pants, but with company he wondered if he should put a pair of jogging bottoms and a shirt on. In the end he figured he might as well stick to what he knew, Callum crawled into bed with him the previous night when he was almost naked then so what harm could it do.

He’d just stripped down to his pants and when Callum came back out of the bathroom, the other man stood and looked at him, his eyes looking him up and down before he carried on walking to the other side of the bed. Ben climbed in as Callum started to strip down, matching the choice of outfit that he’d made and then he got into bed too. Ben tentatively moved into the middle of the bed and met the other man there, he moved his arm out of the way so Ben could move up close to him and settle down in the same position as before.

It felt comfortable and normal, which was weird because feeling this at home with a stranger shouldn’t feel so right. But laying with his skin pressed against Callum’s skin felt like home, the arm wrapped around him felt familiar and the small puffs of air blowing from Callum’s nose in his hair was comforting. When Callum turned the lights off and they settled down to sleep it felt perfect and Ben dropped off without any effort whatsoever.

Ben woke up the next morning before his alarm went off, he opened his eyes and found that he was still wrapped up in Callum’s arms. He breathed in the smell of the other man and considered turning off his alarm and going back to sleep, but he knew he needed to get going. There was a big meeting today with a lot of money involved, if he missed it his dad would go mental so he reluctantly untangled himself from Callum’s long arms. The sleeping man stirred slightly when he moved, but after moving his head he settled back down and turned onto his side to fall back into a deep sleep.

He sat on the side of the bed and looked at him for a moment, again thinking how young he looked when he was unguarded. He was a grown man, older than him, yet he felt an urge to look out for and protect him and he had no idea why. He sighed and stood up, heading to the wardrobe as quietly as he could to pull out his shirt and suit before he plodded along the hallway to the main bathroom. He didn’t want to risk having a shower and waking Callum up so decided to get ready elsewhere and left him to sleep.

The sky was still dark when he walked out of the hotel and the car was there waiting for him to get into. The drive to the office wasn’t long and he asked if they could stop off at a drive through so he could grab some breakfast on the way. Usually he’d get room service to bring something up, no matter what time he was setting off for the day but that wasn’t an option when he was trying to stay quiet. Fast food would have to do for today, as long as he could get a nice meaty sausage he didn’t really care where he ate.

The day was boring really, he had prep work to do for the meeting, finding out everything he could about the potential new business to add to the Mitchell portfolio and he felt as though he was zoning out while reading through the documents. After what felt like hours the meeting came to an end and he finished some paperwork before he gave his dad a call to let him know how it had all gone. As far as he was concerned the new car showroom was in the bag and it was a job well done, even a Phil told him he did good, a rare compliment from him and Ben couldn’t help the small amount of joy it brought him for his dad to give him some praise.

On the way back to the hotel he tried to give Callum a call, wanting to ask him if he’d eaten yet and to suggest him ringing down for some room service. He didn’t answer though and Ben wondered if he was out and busy but there was a small voice that tried to tell him he’d gone home. He felt relief when he walked into the hotel room to find the other man sleeping on the sofa, a beer tilted to the side in his hand. He took the drink away, not wanting it to make a mess on the sofa and he crouched down next to him.

Ben reached out and brushed the sleeping man’s face, his eyelashes fluttered and it was enough to stir him out of his slumber. Ben panicked and pulled his hand away, not wanting to seem weird by touching him and Callum woke up and looked at him. He looked a little embarrassed to be found passed out on the sofa, and there was pain etched on his face. Ben knew that feeling, after Paul he’d woken up with many a hangover and his head throbbed in sympathy.

After establishing that the other man hadn’t eaten yet Callum went upstairs to get cleaned up and have a bath while Ben ordered them some food. A liquid lunch always seems like a good idea at the time, but food was always needed to help soak it up later and a nice big greasy burger always made him feel better so he thought that was a good choice for Callum. He pottered around the kitchen and tipped the remainder of the beer down the sink, he could hear Callum moving around upstairs and the sound of the bath filling up.

He started to get paranoid that the reason Callum was drinking was because of him. The previous two nights he hadn’t touched alcohol and now here he was getting drunk in the day. What if he was struggling because he was here with him. He didn’t want him to feel trapped here, if he wanted to go home then yeah he was going to be disappointed but the last thing he wanted was for Callum to be here with him and miserable. He knew he was going to have to the conversation with him and let him know that if he wanted to leave then there were no hard feelings.

Eventually there was a knock on the door and when he opened it the room service waiter brought in a big tray and placed it down on the table. When he shut the door behind him he shouted up to Callum to let him know the food had arrived and the other man came down the stairs in just a dressing gown. Damn, it seemed shorter on the taller man and Ben’s eyes couldn’t help but be pulled to look at the hairy, thick thighs the bottom the gown was resting on. He swallowed and lifted his eyes to Callum’s face instead, hoping he hadn’t been caught out looking.

They ate their food and Callum was making all sorts of inappropriate noises as he was enjoying his meal. The juices from the burger were dripping down his chin and his tongue darted out to lick at it, Ben shuffled slightly in his seat and was determined to not take any notice. He didn’t know if Callum was doing it on purpose or was completely unaware, but it was having the same effect on him regardless. He instead tried to concentrate on his own dinner, ignoring the moans of satisfaction radiating from the man sitting next to him.

When they finished Ben grabbed some painkillers and handed them to Callum and then they both went to get changed before they headed to the sofa to watch some tv. He flicked through the channels and found something inoffensive to watch in the background while he tried to find the confidence to broach the subject of the other man wanting to go home. He had a pit in his stomach and would rather not be having the conversation but eventually managed to get it out there and ask if Callum was happy to stay or did he want to leave.

Relief flooded through him when he was reassured that the reason Callum had one too many was nothing to do with him and he was more than happy to stay with him. He felt bad for assuming the world revolved around him, of course Callum could have his own issues and worries and he wished he could make it better for him.

As they discussed things, Callum’s hand landed on his thigh and it started to travel upwards. It felt like fire burning through his flesh, it was so close to his crotch and was getting closer. Ben could let it happen, could allow Callum to touch him. He was paying for this wasn’t he, this was what a prostitute was meant to do, and he hadn’t had sex in so long… but the higher the hand got the worse he felt and he had no option but to pull his leg away so the hand was no longer there.

Callum looked at him in confusion, he knew he wasn’t making any sense and could see why the other man wouldn’t know what he wanted. He barely knew what he wanted either but he just couldn’t face that. When he tried to explain what was going on with him, Callum said that he’d lost someone too. Looking at him while he explained about the man in Afghanistan, Ben could see the same pain on the other man’s face that he felt.

It was the first time in so long that he felt like he could open up. Pretty much everyone else in his life was disinterested about Paul, sure, some of them showed some sympathy when it happened, while Ben was still raw and in pain, but since then he always felt weak and pathetic if he showed any sadness over the situation. Sitting here now, with Callum’s open and kind face he finally felt as though he could talk about it. The details spilled out of him before he knew it and the other man reached out for him, grounding him and pulling him back from the awful memories of that night. The overwhelming pain feeling slightly more bearable in the company of somebody who had felt it too.

When he pulled back from the hug and looked at Callum, kindness and care shining in his eyes he wanted to kiss him. It was the first time he’d wanted to kiss anyone in what felt like a lifetime. But he misread the look from him for pity so instead of leaning in to press their lips together he pulled away, shame building in him that he was such a charity case that even a hooker was feeling sorry for him.

He got up and moved away, racing to the kitchen to get a drink. He pulled out an expensive bottle of whiskey and took a swig, enjoying the burn in his throat as he swallowed. Callum came over to see if he was ok and stopped him as he went to put the bottle to his lips again. He looked up at the taller man and he looked concerned about him. He offered to leave and Ben’s stomach dropped, that was the last thing he wanted.

Callum could obviously tell that he didn’t want him to go so instead suggested they go to bed, rushing to make it clear he meant to sleep. Ben was relieved and nodded his head, this was all he wanted, the proximity of the older man enough to make him feel better. Kissing him would have blown it, it would have led to something else, he’s not sure he could have stopped himself and then he’d have just been another customer. He didn’t want that, he wasn’t that man.

Heading up to bed the atmosphere was strange, charged and uncomfortable. Neither man went to take off their clothes and they climbed into bed in their joggers and T-shirt’s, it seeming the safer option for them both. It was only when they were snuggled together in the dark that the tension calmed down, the inability to see each other making them less self conscious and nervous of talking openly.

Ben was surprised when he opened his mouth and he started to share his whole life story. The uneasy relationship with his dad, the feelings of inadequacy and failure he’d had his entire life and the way Phil treated and acted towards him over his loss. It was a relief to be able to talk about it with someone, it was something he’d been holding onto for so long, unable to share it with anyone until now.

When Callum reciprocated and shared his own stories and pain, Ben hugged him close and let him talk. Their shared experiences and similar lives bringing them closer than either of them thought possible. As the night wore on they continued to talk, each sharing far more than they ever thought they would. The opportunity to talk through their pasts a massive relief to the both. Before he knew it the sun was beginning to rise, turning the sky a vibrant red colour as it came out from behind some skyscrapers.

Callum suggested he take the day off work. He knew he shouldn’t really but with it being morning and him not having slept yet he had to admit he didn’t really have any other options. After he text his assistant and said to clear his diary he settled back down into bed. He turned on his side and felt Callum move over to lay behind him, his body laying flush up against his back. When he felt a strong arm wrap over him, he felt safe and secure enough to drop straight off to sleep, Callum followed soon after and they slept soundly as the sky outside got brighter and lighter.


	3. Chapter 3

When Ben woke up he could feel arms still wrapped around him and it felt so right. He tried to keep his eyes shut a little longer, to pretend he was asleep and to stay cuddled up in bed for as long as he could but he could sense that Callum knew he’d woken up. He opened his eyes and looked up towards the other man’s face, blue warm eyes met his and he felt something bloom in his chest. Memories of all they’d spoken about came flooding back and the closeness they’d built made him want to move and kiss him. It wouldn’t take much, just a small movement and their faces would be right there but instead he bottled it and climbed out of bed, heading straight to the bathroom.

He got the door shut and cursed himself for being an idiot, was it stupid to want to kiss Callum or was it stupid to not do it. He’d already stated that his one rule was not to kiss on the mouth so even attempting to do that was out of the question. The way he was looking at Ben though, he was sure he could see the same desire reflected back at him but he worried it was simply wishful thinking. He heard shuffling on the other side of the door and an offer for him to join Callum in the bath as the other man left he room to head to the bathroom.

He stood looking at his reflection in the mirror, trying to work out what to do, should he go and join the other man or not. It felt like forever standing in front of the mirror, looking back at himself and then something snapped in him and he made the decision. He pulled open the door and stepped out, walking through the bedroom and along the hallway to the other bathroom. He raised his hand and hesitated slightly before he curled it into a fist and tapped gently on the wooden barrier, there was no going back now.

As he stepped inside and saw Callum in the bath, a sheen of sweat on his skin from the hot water and a slight red face he nearly walked straight back out the door. This was such a mistake, the desire was building in him and he wanted something to happen, but he knew he was paying him to be here, to do this and it made him feel sick, thinking that the only reason the older man would want to touch him was because of the money. Maybe that’s all he was good for now though, he felt so broken that perhaps paying someone to spend time with him or to sleep with him was as good as it would get.

No matter how embarrassed he felt about it he couldn’t stop the urge to climb into the tub and join the other man so he started to strip off. Callum’s eyes followed every movement he made, as he took off his top and jogging bottoms and was stood in just his pants, eyes were fixed on him. He hooked his thumbs in the waistband of his underwear and pulled them down, flushing slightly as Callum dragged his eyes away from him, maybe it was because he didn’t like what he was seeing. He nearly picked up his clothes and ran out but he stayed, he’d come this far and then Callum looked at him and their eyes connected. He swore he saw a small smile on the other man’s face and it gave him the confidence he needed to step towards the bath and climb inside.

Callum had moved aside to make space for him, stretching his arm out in a gesture to let him know to go and sit with him which he did. He turned so he could lean back against the taller man’s chest and he felt the warm skin pressed against his own, it felt familiar and right. He closed his eyes and leaned his head back so it lay on Callum’s chest just below his shoulder and he felt the other man starting to rub over his chest with a sponge.

It went straight to his dick, feeling someone else touching him like that. His skin wasn’t crawling but instead it was burning like fire wherever Callum touched him. Then he felt something digging into his hip and the body behind him attempting to shift away from him. He couldn’t stop his own hand from reaching out to touch and when he got it closed around the hard rod it felt hot and heavy in his hand. He heard a moan behind him as he started to move his wrist, increasing the pressure and tempo as he went. Callum’s hips started to move and he could feel the other man’s body moving and chest heaving beneath him.

He felt Callum’s mouth in his hair, could feel the breath and heard the moaning and it spurred him on, pulling on the dick in his hand more firmly. As soon as he felt Callum’s hand moving towards his own crotch he snatched it away from him. Even in his turned on state and how desperate he was for this to happen he couldn’t shake the thought that he was paying for this. As much as he wanted to let go, to let Callum touch him and to sleep with him, he couldn’t do it. He didn’t want it to happen like this. He continued to give the other man pleasure though, feeling that he was able to do this to him and soon he felt the other man come.

Callum tried to turn his head so he could kiss him and automatically Ben pulled away, moving to the other side of the bath and climbing out. His dick was so hard it was painful but he couldn’t let Callum touch him, he had to take care of this himself so he left the bathroom and headed back to the en-suite in the master bedroom. He got in the shower, turned it on so the water was scolding hot and stood under the spray as he brought himself some release. Afterwards he leaned his head on the tiled wall and called himself a twat.

When he’d cleaned off and had gone back into the bedroom to get dressed Callum was still in the bath. He managed to get his clothes on before the other man joined him and Ben asked if he wanted to get some dinner and see a show, trying to avoid any discussion about what just happened. He knew Callum had questions and wanted to talk to him but he wanted to forget about it so simply smiled and said everything was good.

When they went for dinner it almost felt like a date, sitting across from a handsome man, chatting and laughing and enjoying himself… it was something he’d missed a lot. Sure he had friends he hung out with but it wasn’t the same. Getting to know someone new, to feel the connection to another human being like he was feeling right now, it didn’t feel like a business arrangement and it started to feel like it could be real. The way Callum was looking at him, he swore he saw it in his face too but he couldn’t be sure.

Dinner and then drinks were great, they got on so well it was if they’d known each other for much longer than they had and when he took Callum to the theatre, the awe on the other man’s face was beautiful. He’d had much the same reaction the first time he’d gone, but he’d gone by himself. He didn’t know that many people who would want to go see a musical so often he’d book a box for four people and sit there totally alone. To be able to share it someone now was everything, and when Callum reached out for his hand to hold when the show started, it made his heart beat faster.

On the journey back to the hotel they sat close in the car, Ben leaned his head on Callum’s shoulder and the gentle movement of the car and the soft music playing over the radio tempted him into sleep. The next thing he knew he felt a brush against his cheek and he opened his eyes to see Callum looking down at him and a sweet look on his face. When he said they should get to bed he felt a butterfly start fluttering in his heart and as they walked through the lobby of the hotel hand in hand, the butterfly moved to his stomach with nerves.

Once they got inside the room he could do nothing but stand and look at the taller man. The air was charged between them, he swore he saw the jolts of electricity crackling around the pair of them and the way Callum was looking at him was the exact same way he felt he looked. The worry of being a customer or a sad case moved to the back of his mind and all he wanted to do was to kiss him. When he noticed Callum’s eyes dart down to his lips he involuntarily licked them and felt something within him crack open when the other man’s eyes widened in desire.

Without thinking he leaned in, not letting his mind or worries get in the way, and closed his eyes. He could feel the heat moving closer to him, Callum’s body was right in front of him. He went to stand on his tip toes to make them closer to the same height and prepared for the soft touch of lips against his own. Out of nowhere though a shrill and loud noise cut through them, forcing them to jump back with the surprise of the interruption.

Ben took it as a sign, something was trying to tell him that this shouldn’t be happening and as he watched the worry and upset pass over Callum’s face he realised that something bad had happened. When Callum said he needed to leave he offered a car, wanting to make sure that the other man could get to his friend as fast as he could. He knew how much Whitney meant to him, Callum had already told him that she’d basically saved his life after Chris and he understood completely that he needed to go to her.

When Callum said bye and shut the door, Ben’s heart sunk. He felt a sense of sadness that he was alone again and then felt like a bastard for feeling sorry for himself when Callum had so much more going on and to worry about. He stood looking at the door for a few moments before he turned and walked over to the cupboard that he kept the whiskey in. He pulled it out, opened it and took a large slug out of it, wiping his lips and swallowing it before taking it over to sit on the sofa.

He sat down and stared into the darkness of the empty room, just the amber liquid as his company. There was a small voice in his head that said Callum might be back, but ultimately he knew he wouldn’t be. He sighed thinking how much of a lucky escape Callum had, they very nearly kissed and he’s sure the other man would have ended up regretting it. It’s not like he was a catch, he had so much baggage he couldn’t blame anyone for not wanting to go near him.

The night dragged on and he continued to sit in the dark with his new best friend, the level on the bottle going down faster than it should. Eventually his phone rang and surprised him, the ringtone a lot louder than he was expecting in the quiet. Callum’s name flashed up and he took a deep breath before he answered the call. It went pretty much how he expected and he wanted to beg him to come back. He managed to hold it together better than he thought he would and when he hung up he threw his phone on the sofa.

It was over. Callum wouldn’t be coming back and although he was gutted, he didn’t blame him. He wished that he had someone in his life that cared about him as much as Callum cared about his best friend. It was admirable and honestly, it made Ben like him all the more. He just didn’t know how he was going to get through the next few days here without him, it was going to seem so much emptier and lonely than it did before. He was used to someone else as company now and he realised what an idiot he’d been. He’d brought this on himself and was always going to be left alone at the end of the week. It’s not like he could have paid Callum to travel around with him or go home, it was always going to end and he was ridiculous for not thinking it through properly from the start.

He took another swig from the bottle, polishing off the last drop from it and then put it on the coffee table. He went to stand up but realised his head was swimming and had to sit back down again. He reached for the remote for the projector and turned it on, deciding that the noise from some late night tv was better than the silence of the room. He picked his feet up and put the them on the sofa, moving himself around so he could lay along the length and he put his head down on a cushion. The alcohol worked its way around his body and pulled him into an uneasy sleep, nightmares of Paul intercepting his dreams once again.

Sleep wasn’t kind to him and he awoke after only a few hours, his head hurting and feeling sick. When he stood this time he wasn’t dizzy and he managed to stumble upstairs to the bathroom to empty his stomach. Afterwards he swished out his mouth and returned downstairs, he noticed the time was nearly 4am. He decided to call down to room service for some food, now he’d been sick he needed the grease in his stomach. They wouldn’t usually be offering food to order at this time of day but the Mitchell family stayed here a lot and they did pretty much everything that was requested. Sure enough when he called down they said that the food would be with him presently and 20 minutes later there was a knock on the door.

The food was delicious and he was glad to have something in him to soak up the alcohol. Drinking alone was always a bad idea and he made a mental note to not do it again, especially when he had work and meetings the following day. When he finished the food he laid back down on the sofa, deciding there was no point in going to bed and allowed himself to drop back off for another couple of hours before his alarm was due to go off.

The alarm wasn’t needed and he woke up an hour before it was set. He hopped in the shower and felt a lot more human by washing the stench of alcohol off of his skin. When he walked out of the en-suite and saw Callum’s clothes still sitting on the chair on his side of the bed he paused momentarily, suddenly missing him all the more. He made a decision to pack it all up for him, grabbing his own designer suitcase to use and set about going around the room and picking up everything that belonged to Callum.

Once he had everything sorted he went and opened a safe hidden away in the wardrobe and took out an envelope. Looking through it to check all the money was there he folded it up inside a pair of trousers and put that in the suitcase too. Callum would have kept up his end of the bargain if this hadn’t happened and he wasn’t going to punish him for it when he’d brought Ben so much by being there with him. He grabbed a pad of paper and pen and tried to write a note to include too but he wasn’t sure what to say.

_To Callum, I miss you already…_

No, obviously that was stupid.

_Callum, come back, please._

Stop it you fucking idiot he thought to himself… it took so many attempts and about 20 pages ripped off the pad and thrown in the bin before he settled on something. It was honest and true but he hoped it wasn’t overkill. He decided to fold it up and put it inside the programme from the theatre the previous night, hoping to keep the note safe and make it easy to find. The programme and note were put in with the rest of Callum’s stuff, he zipped up the case easily over the contents and took it downstairs to leave next to the door.

When he was ready to go to work he went downstairs and walked over to the reception desk. He left instructions there for somebody to go and collect the case later and wrote down the address Callum gave him as to where it needed to be delivered. Afterwards he walked out and got in his own waiting car to be driven to the office, a long and boring day ahead of him.

He instructed the driver to take him through a drive thru, he needed another breakfast since the last one was hours ago and munching on his bacon and egg McMuffin helped to settle his stomach back down, the churning from the alcohol and upset at being alone again had been constant since he’d woken up. The work day was as long and boring as he predicted it was going to be. He found it difficult to concentrate, his mind drifting back to Callum and hoping that everything was ok with him. He nearly rang him a couple of times, his finger hovering over the number and very close to pressing it, but he thought better of it. He wasn’t a friend, he was a customer and he was sure that now he was back at home, he definitely wouldn’t want Ben to contact him again.

The day eventually ended and he had managed to avoid calling or texting him, he’d impressed himself over that and when the car came to collect him to take him back to the hotel he happily climbed into the back and closed his eyes for the journey home. He must have dropped off because the next thing he knew the driver was waking him up and he blearily stepped out of the door.

Walking into the hotel he stopped off at reception to see if there were any messages for him, still having the tiniest glimmer of hope that maybe Callum had called, but of course he was disappointed. When he returned to his room and opened the door the silence was deafening. He looked down at the floor where he left the case that morning and it was no longer there. He knew for certain that Callum was gone and he wasn’t coming back, the last remnants of him removed for good. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don’t even know if anyone is still reading this, but I’m posting it anyway 😂.


End file.
